My mom's name is Ana she is a very strong and a powerful person in my life" an whom inspires me each and everyday, she wakes up smiling an singing very early 5:00 am she is up! reads her bible, makes her coffee an puts her red lipstick on I can never top that!, I would tell you a bit about her an why I pay her so much Admiration and Respect.
I am going to tell her story as short as possible. She was born in 1943 lived with her Mom a widow single mother whom raised her three daughters by her self her mother never remarried, Mother is the eldest next, her sister whom we called Yayin who rescently passed away' and her youngest Sister Lidia.
In Puerto Rico at that time most of the people used to work in the sugar fields or Tobacco or even Coffee plantations, My Grandmother worked there for a period of Ten years. Mother helped grandmother at home an also in the fields as well as taking care of her two sisters, Mother only got trough 6 th grade an then she had to quit school'
At the Age of 13 she was Pregnant with my Big brother whom we called Marcelino then was Maria Dolores then Followd Martha and Jose the youngest, this are the children from her first marriage from what happened to be a very abusive and disastrous relationship. She was horrified by this man whom was way' older than her, him being already a 42 year old, finally after coming in to an agreement and plies with My Grandmother she fled from home an moved to United States where she worked in a sewing company , by that time she was 16 yrs old.
The years passed an she met her second husband Rafael and establish her self, She thought was a good Idea for her Oldest children also to come in and live with her, they where already teenagers, but despite her try's the relationship was weakened. I corroborated the story with my Aunts and Grandmother wish specifically tell the story the same way!. Until this day it is a harsh topic between my first brothers and sisters. Except one', whom recognizes mothers situation at the time and heartfelt Love'.
Mother had 5 more children Two of them died After three Days in the hospital, then My brother Rafael whom we Called Papo was born, followed by My sister Jenny. The death of my two baby brothers bring a lot of grief and sorrow, she promised not to have anymore children but by then Kenny was born in 1973.
What impressed me about her story, is that Mother never stopped working! even when her second marriage was about to fail she travel with her three Children back and forth on foot under many Snow Storms! Mother did not gave up! she had strength and courage even when she knew her second marriage was over!.
Her second husband whom was an repeatedly drunkard and a big time cheater' had a child with another women. Mother saw this, as an opportunity to go back home an re unite all her children and try once again , She wanted to establish a Relationship with them, but then again proved a failure' making things more complicated, Mother always trough out all this worked, she cooked for the locals ,sold her goods, did construction work sold hand made clothing, clay ceramics made by hand even Iron pots, She did everything in her power to put a plate in the table and give to her children and maintained her self.
When She met Father and got engaged, I was born The Year, 1977 by now The Tenth child!, Mother says,I was born premature 7 months later. She said she had an option but, that I was a blessing. I wonder if it was the case with me, would I have done the same?. Father had a Tall Athletic figure an was a Very good looking man a hard worker but then again, a Big time flirt! whom bought Mother more grief ,' But she knew to call it quits and never looked back!.
What I cherished about mother is that despite all her troubles' with Men' and family' she never thought of her self being the Victim" always a hardworker and a well respected til This Day, she has the strongest will and character that you have ever met' when she don't like something, she let's You know!, teaching me that despite her low resources an no school, she Was and is a Business women! Mother is 65 yrs old and have never stopped, she drives a Standard Sports Car, you can call that an Cool Grandma' each and every day she never thinks of her experiences not as a past failure' but as a Learning experience!
Not to long she became the primarily care taker of her second husband, He got very ill had two heart attacks wish left him paralyzed . With out no pay! Just as a favor wile My brothers an Sister worked an supported their families!.
The Chores where to clean' and bathe' him is not as simple as it sounds, she and her youngest sister had to move him in and out of the bed, keeping constant monitoring at all times, often had to carry him , I always looked with admiration, because I knew very well, whom he was, He was very well taken care off, I saw Karma' but in a good way". I stood quiet looking with respect, despite of the horrible things he made her go trough, she was there,... taking care of him!.
It was very emotional seeing that he was very conscious of how well he was being treated, often crying and holding her hands asking to be forgiven. My mother replied constantly: it has being forgotten! Rafael, I don't know what you're talking about!!., She didn't felt sorry or saw him as a charity" on the contrary treated him with a lot of Respect until he passed away in 2008 In My brothers Arms.
At those moments when he constantly refused to get up, or when he yelled and cursed, even to my brothers I often asked, because I am always joking Ma' you never want to give him some pawpao? what we called discipline in Spanish. Any one that has or is taking care of a loved one knows that ain't easy. It Requires a lot of Patience and Love and certainly don't do well if you hide certain feelings towards that person.
Mother Answered: Don't you know? that you must treat others as you would like to be treated! to be able to forgive, taking everything that bothers you from your heart, Doing so is as truth and fullfilling as Life it self'! We Must forgive and Forget!, and keep going' Because I want to live longer!' Oh' Mom I sighted and nodded with a smile*
I Have Learned from Her Lots!' Wisdom, Admiration and Respect from her experiences, specially with Men and How to deal and talk to other people looking always towards their good qualities and not to be so judgmental', but to get to know them better. Even tho' I Had some College, she reminded me that books don't teach you about Life, and no one's knows what to expect, but rather how you deal with your own circumstances".
To Know when a Relationship isn't working or when a man is just not worth' To Always Believe in my Self That words with out Action don't mean a thing', that sometimes Silent is better' and wise', To keep on walking If I see big holes' in Life just skip them and go around".
To Cry for those whom deserve it' But must importantly to help others as much as I can, To be a giver" , To be strong!, To Persevere and that Self Assurance is a gift that is often passed.
My Mother Still Dances Merenge and Salsa To the bit of the Drum!she is Always Laughing' and you want to know, what she tells me?...Of course I would get married again, what you think?
and then she says I take My Coffee To Go! Strong Black and Three Sugars! and Raise One Eyebrow Lifting her Cup Up'
No comments:
Post a Comment