Monday, January 11, 2010

I Take My coffee Black with Three Sugars"

Besides your higher self and spiritual power' theres always someone that you look up to!, that you learned from and  Love! a person  you feel in tune with in my case is  My Mother' She  is a very special lady,  a beautiful person and whom I would like to dedicate today's blog!

My mom's name is Ana she is a very strong  and a  powerful person in my life" an whom inspires me each and everyday, she wakes up smiling an singing very early 5:00 am she is up! reads her bible, makes her coffee an puts her red lipstick on  I can never top that!,  I would tell you  a bit about her an why I pay her  so much Admiration and Respect.

I am going to tell her story as short as possible.  She was born in 1943 lived  with her Mom a widow single mother whom  raised her three daughters by her self her mother never remarried, Mother is the eldest next, her sister whom we called Yayin who rescently passed away' and her youngest Sister Lidia.

In Puerto Rico at that time most of the people used to work in the sugar fields or Tobacco or even Coffee plantations, My Grandmother worked there for a period of Ten years.  Mother helped grandmother at home an also in the fields as well as taking care of her two sisters,  Mother only got trough 6 th grade an then she had to quit school'

At the Age of 13 she was Pregnant with my Big brother whom we called Marcelino then was Maria Dolores then Followd Martha and Jose the youngest, this are the children  from her  first marriage from what happened to be a very abusive and disastrous relationship. She was horrified by  this man whom was way' older than her, him  being already a 42 year old,  finally after  coming in to an agreement and plies with My Grandmother she  fled from  home an moved to United States where she worked in a sewing company , by that time she was 16 yrs old.

The years passed an she met her second husband Rafael  and establish her self, She thought  was a good Idea  for her Oldest  children also  to come in and live with her, they where already teenagers, but despite her try's   the  relationship was weakened.  I corroborated the story with my Aunts and Grandmother wish specifically tell the story the same way!. Until this day it is a harsh topic between my first brothers and sisters.  Except one',  whom recognizes mothers situation at the time and  heartfelt  Love'. 

Mother had 5 more children  Two of them  died After three Days in the hospital, then My brother Rafael whom we Called Papo was  born, followed by My sister Jenny. The death of my  two baby brothers  bring a lot of  grief and sorrow, she promised not to have anymore children  but by  then   Kenny was born in 1973.

What  impressed me about her story, is that Mother never stopped working! even when her second marriage was about to fail she travel with her three Children back and forth on foot under many  Snow Storms! Mother did not  gave up! she had strength and courage even when she knew  her second marriage was over!.

Her second husband whom was an repeatedly drunkard and  a big time cheater' had a child with another women.  Mother saw this, as an opportunity to go back home an re unite all her children and try once again , She wanted  to establish a Relationship with them, but then again proved a failure' making things more complicated, Mother always trough out all this worked, she cooked for the locals ,sold her goods, did construction work sold hand made clothing, clay ceramics made by hand even Iron pots, She did   everything in her power to put a plate in the table and  give to her children and maintained her self.

When She met Father and got engaged, I was born The Year,  1977  by now The Tenth child!,  Mother says,I was born premature 7 months later. She said she had an option but, that  I was a blessing.   I wonder if it was the case with me,  would I have done the same?. Father had a Tall Athletic figure an was a Very good looking man a hard worker but then again,  a  Big time flirt! whom bought  Mother more grief ,' But she knew to  call it quits and never looked back!.

What I cherished  about mother is  that despite all her troubles' with Men' and  family' she never thought of her self being the Victim" always a  hardworker and a well respected til This Day, she has the  strongest will and  character that you have ever met' when she don't like something, she let's You know!, teaching me that despite her low resources an no school, she Was and is a  Business women! Mother is  65 yrs old and have never stopped, she drives a Standard Sports Car, you can call that an Cool Grandma' each and every day  she never thinks of her experiences not as a past  failure' but  as a Learning experience!

Not to long  she became the primarily care taker of her second husband,  He got very ill  had two heart attacks wish left him paralyzed .  With out  no pay! Just as a favor wile My brothers an Sister worked an supported their families!.

The Chores where to  clean' and  bathe' him  is not as simple as it sounds, she and her youngest  sister had to move him in and  out of  the bed, keeping constant monitoring  at all times, often  had  to  carry  him ,  I always  looked with admiration,  because I knew very well, whom he was,  He was very well taken care off, I saw Karma' but in a good way". I stood quiet looking with respect, despite of the horrible things he made her go trough,  she was there,...  taking care of him!.

It  was very emotional seeing that  he was very conscious of how well he was being treated, often crying and holding her hands asking to be forgiven. My mother replied constantly: it has being forgotten! Rafael, I don't know what you're talking about!!., She didn't felt sorry or saw him as a charity" on the contrary treated him with a  lot of  Respect until he passed away in  2008 In My brothers Arms.

At those moments when he constantly refused to get up, or  when he yelled and cursed, even to my brothers  I often asked, because I am always joking  Ma'  you never want to give him some pawpao?   what we called discipline in Spanish. Any one that has or is  taking  care of a loved one knows that ain't easy. It Requires a lot of Patience and Love and certainly don't do well if you hide certain feelings towards that person.

 Mother Answered:   Don't you know? that you must treat others as you would like to be treated! to be able to forgive, taking everything that bothers you  from your heart, Doing so  is as truth and fullfilling as Life it self'! We Must forgive and Forget!, and keep going' Because  I want to live longer!'  Oh' Mom I sighted and nodded  with a  smile*

I Have Learned  from Her Lots!' Wisdom, Admiration and  Respect  from her experiences, specially with Men and  How  to  deal  and talk to other  people  looking always towards their good qualities and  not to be so judgmental', but to get to  know them better. Even tho' I Had some College,  she reminded me  that books  don't   teach you about Life, and no one's knows what to expect,  but rather  how you deal with  your own circumstances".

To Know when  a Relationship isn't working or when a man is just not worth' To Always  Believe in my Self That  words with out Action don't mean a thing', that sometimes Silent  is better' and wise', To keep on  walking If I see  big holes' in Life  just skip them  and go around".

To Cry for those whom deserve it' But must importantly to  help others as much as I can, To be  a giver" ,  To be strong!,  To Persevere and that  Self Assurance is a gift that is often passed.

  My Mother Still  Dances Merenge and Salsa To the bit of the Drum!she is Always Laughing' and you want to know, what she tells me?...Of course I would get married again, what you think?
 and then she says I take My Coffee To Go! Strong Black and  Three Sugars! and Raise One Eyebrow Lifting her Cup Up'

 This is for You Ma' Bendicion and Cheers"

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